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Despite giving it some fairly positive praise for its lack of color and somber tone when I first saw the box art for the game, today I’ve realized I’m just not as critical when it comes to box art as I should be, or at least not nearly as snobby as many gamers seem to be when it comes to Heavy Rain’s North American box art. Evidently, we got the short straw in this situation since the European box art would clearly be the winner in a Box Art Beauty Contest, or at least take second to Borderlands. Some gamers are actually getting upset about this.
I mean, seriously, how desperate are you on your search for a life that you have to spend your tiem complaining about box art (I put that in bold to help get my disapproval across, did it work?). I’ll admit I like the European box art better (wow, how many times have I said ‘box art’?), I don’t think what we got is necessarily ugly, just not quite as pleasing to the eyeballs (or eyeball for those with eyepatches amongst us). Why don’t you look at both of the covers, I’m done saying… those two words, and let me know what the big deal is, because I’m clearly not getting it.
Above is the ‘Makes me want to scratch out my eyes with something dull’ American version and below is the ‘I would like o marry this piece of pure beauty and make sweet sweet baby love to it’ (are you uncomfortable enough yet?) the Europeans are getting.
The more I compare the two the more arrogant I feel, I mean, why do those smelly Europeans get such an extravagant work of art while we get this thing that looks like it was shat out by an eight year old with three fingers and an extraordinarily deep understanding of PhotoShop? America is the home of… well, we created something, and that something was damn important so we deserve beautiful video games.
Because this is supposed to be a news post let me throw some news at you: First bit of news for the less observant readers, everything above was coated in a thick layer of sarcasm, so please don’t take my attacks on the European people seriously. I’ve never been in a fight but I’m fairly positive I couldn’t take on the entire European continent. Because of this Sony will be making the European box, er, game cover available for you to print and make your American copy pretty again. Or you could just chill out a bit, put the game disc in a binder and throw the box in a closet like the rest of us. Your choice.
Article from Gamersyndrome.com
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- Heavy Rain: Banned in the United Arab Emirates
- Heavy Rain Review
- DLC for Heavy Rain has been delayed
- EUROGAMER EXPO ‘09 Pt 1: Heavy Rain
- Anyone wanna play Heavy Rain right Now?!
- Play Heavy Rain On Youtube
- Heavy Rain Chronicles Makes You A Murderer
- New Heavy Rain Gameplay Shows Off Possible Scenarios
I ruthlessly tear apart the English language by lending my "talents" to a handful of websites including Cheat Code Central, Game Zone and Bloody Disgusting, all while working on acquiring a degree in Video Game Design. Oh, and I'm also desperately searching for a social life. 
Gotta agree with you. The bottom one is much messier, not as crisp and generic as the first. It’s more abstract as well, more mysterious. The American one looks like a movie poster.
Hmm, I guess us “smelly Europeans” are lucky. :/
Yup. The top one looks like a movie poster…and that’s not a compliment